Obsession with a man is submission to coercive discourse

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Obsession with a man is the result of submission to the coercive language of society, which links attraction to those who engage in violent behaviour (Racionero et al., 2021). Submitting to this language leads some abused people to feel attraction to those who make them suffer, to feel dependency and at other times to feel fear of abandonment. 

Studies such as those by Belanger et al. (2021), who examined the relationship between passion and obsessive relational intrusion (ORI), the latter understood as unwanted behaviour towards a partner that invades their intimacy and inclusion may fear for their safety. The researchers found that fear of abandonment plays a role in the conduct of those willing to continue the relationship. 

Momene et al. (2021) focused on analyzing the relationship between dysfunctional coping styles and psychopathological symptoms with the development of emotional dependence and intimate partner violence. The researchers concluded that “as emotional dependence and intimate partner violence increased, inadequate coping styles focused on emotion increased in parallel, reflecting the relevance of social withdrawal, self-criticism and wishful thinking.” (p. 37). 

To prevent the incorporation of this coercive language, the study “Your Friends Do Matter: Peer Group Talk in Adolescence and Gender Violence Victimization” points out the importance of establishing interactions that allow for socialization that leads to more freedom, less coercion and healthier relationships.

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