Love does not kill

Scientific evidence platform Scientific evidence Love does not kill
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I usually listen to different public debates that romantic relationships are the root of gender violence. But when I checked the scientific evidence, there is clear evidence that depends on the people that you choose to be involved, if they are violent the relationship will be violent independently if the relationship is a sporadic or long term relationship. And the people that you consider attractive depend on the type of socialization process experienced as it explained in the following article: Gender Violence Among Teenagers: Socialization and Prevention published in the most important international scientific journal on Violence Against Women.

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This is a hoax.
“Relationships are good  for sex but, unfortunately, they have a dark side as well. Relations hips are “greedy”, getting in the way of other  things that young women want to be doing as adolescents and young adults, and they are often characterized by gender inequality—sometimes even violence”

“The costs of bad hookups tend to be less than and the costs  of bad relationships:bad hookups are isolated events, but bad relationships wreak havoc with whole lives”.

Last edited 7 days ago by Beatriz Villarejo
Elisabeth Torras


  • Puigvert, L., Gelsthorpe, L., Soler-Gallart, M., & Flecha, R. (2019). Girls’ perceptions of boys with violent attitudes and behaviours, and of sexual attraction. Palgrave Communications5(1), 1-12.
  • Torras-Gómez, E.; Puigvert, L.; Aiello, E.; Khalfaoui, A. (2020). Our Right to the Pleasure of Falling in Love. Frontiers in Psychology. https://10.3389/fpsyg.2019.03068

The length of a relationship does not determine whether it will be violent or not. On the contrary, is the partner of choice who will lead to a violent or non-violent relationship.
Since girls tend to prefer violent boys for sporadic relationships, and non-violent partners for long-term relationships, it is more likely that they are in a violent casual relationship than in a violent long-term relationship.

Last edited 7 days ago by Beatriz Villarejo
Alfonso Rodriguez



In my personal experience, romantic love has in no way been a root of gender violence. I have a very romantic relationship with my girlfriend and after several years together she has never felt involved in a violent relationship according to her.
Now, according to the evidence that I know, the root of gender violence are the social interactions that make us desire and choose violent people. To back this assertion I share a peer reviewed paper below.

Last edited 7 days ago by Beatriz Villarejo
Manuel García

Romantic relationships are not the root cause of gender-based violence, but they can be decisive in helping to prevent future violent relationships. In my personal experience I had a long and romantic relationship with my first girlfriend, many years later she told me that due to that relationship we had, she has been able to clearly distinguish violet attitudes in boys who have claimed to have a relationship with her.

James, W.H.; West, C.; Deters, K.E. y Armijo, E. (2000). Dating Violence. Adolescence, 35(139), 455-465.
Oliver, E.; y Valls, R. (2004). Violencia de género. Investigaciones sobre quiénes, por qué y cómo superarla. Barcelona: El Roure.

Last edited 7 days ago by Beatriz Villarejo

Thinking about every romantic experience I have had throughout my teenage years, I have also come to the conclusion that “Love does not kill”. Due to a lack of maturity or experience, teenagers (and specially girls) tend to choose romantic partners who are also inmature, uncaring and even agressive. These relationships usually lead to showing these boys some kind or tolerance that they do not deserve, and it even makes them feel powerful and superior due to their behaviour not being punished.


Tanto las niñas como mujeres adultas tienden a preferir las relaciones con hombres que encajen en el molde de lo que se dice que es la masculinidad, dado que parece ser que estas actitudes más “masculinas” (donde se incluyen, normalmente, actos violentos) harán de su relación un tanto más emocionante. El problema en estas relaciones es la dificultad para reconocer situaciones amenazantes y/o de riesgo que pueden llevar consecuentemente a la violencia, ya que muchas de estas suelen estar normalizadas e aceptadas por la sociedad actual. Entonces, pues, el problema no está en el hecho de tener relaciones, ya sean esporádicas o estables, ni tampoco la edad de los participantes en estas, sino la elección de la persona o bien la permisibilidad que se tenga en cuanto a las pequeñas acciones cotidianas que puedan llevar en un futuro a situaciones de violencia.

Puigvert, L., Gelsthorpe, L., Soler-Gallart, M., & Flecha, R. (2019). Girls’ perceptions of boys with violent attitudes and behaviours, and of sexual attraction. Palgrave Communications5(1), 1-12.

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